This episode of Ring of Honor TV started out with an NWA National Championship match. James Storm, the challenger, faced off against the champ Colt Cabana. The match felt a bit slow but I thought Colt looked great, lots of energy and some neat moves (as usual). There was a bit of floor fighting and James Storm made sure to eyeball Nick Aldis (the NWA Worlds Heavyweight Champion, who was on commentary). Seems like they’re trying to set up Aldis vs Storm somehow. The match was announced with a 15 minute time limit so it was pretty obvious to me that this was going to hit it: after James Storm hit a pair of Last Call superkicks, he locked in a very sloppy cloverleaf (which I’m gathering from the commentary may be one of Aldis’s finishes) until the bell rang. It was a decently fun match but nothing exceptional.
Ticked off, Storm rattled off some fightin’ words and grabbed the National belt to leave with it. Colt stopped him and said he’d give Storm five more minutes, which got a big pop from the crowd. Before Storm could get back in, the Briscoe Brothers attacked Colt from behind and laid him out. Jay got the mic and ran down the NWA, then specifically Aldis. Aldis came in and fought as best he could, and once Colt recovered he did try to fight, but the Briscoes were able to deal with them one at a time and ended the segment standing tall. Looks like we’ll be getting a tag match pitting the Briscoes against Aldis & Cabana sometime in the future.
I’m not really sure what this working relationship between the NWA and ROH is as far as who’s up for what titles and so on. When the brawl was going on, Ian kept shouting about “the working relationship” which, okay, I guess? I don’t understand how this would imperil the working relationship? It seems to just be adding two or maybe three new titles to ROH (which they don’t need) and James Storm who probably won’t ever fight for an ROH belt. I can see what ROH is giving to the NWA, but what is ROH getting out of this? Dave Lagana?
Anyway, next there was a sit-down interview with Jeff Cobb, interspersed with some pictures of his past and clips of his wrestling. He seems like a decent guy who liked wrestling and was a great athlete even before becoming a full-time grunt n’ groaner. He gave the lame answer to “what should Taven expect” by just saying “oh everything”, but I won’t dock him cause most people say that.
Silas Young walked out next looking like an idiot in a buttondown, trunks, and a t-shirt used as a tail. This is one of the dumbest looks in wrestling. Anyway he starts talking about how great of a technical wrestler he is (the joke is that he’s a cheating heel), pretty tepid promo. He said he went out and had to look for his own opponent cause ROH guys weren’t tough enough, so he found a guy called The Squid. Now, I haven’t been watching in a while, so it wasn’t until halfway through the match that I got the joke of The Squid when Ian just directly said it’s a play on “the Octopus” Jonathan Gresham; I hadn’t been watching in a few weeks and Silas never said Gresham’s name, which I think is a mistake. At least set your own gag up.
Btw the Squid ruled. He came out like doing squiggly arms and he even did a squiggly handshake for the Code of Honor! This was basically a squash with too many hope spots for the Squid, or rather, too many “not ending the match” spots. The Squid didn’t really get in any offense but Silas was doing the “toying with the opposition” thing which is boring way more often than it is interesting. Silas unfortunately didn’t clear that bar. Silas beat the Squid with an abdominal stretch, and then kept it locked in while he lit a cigarette. This looked cool and he could have just shaved half of the match off if that was the image he was trying to get to. Pretty dull match. I like Silas a lot but I’m not into this smarmy act, I’d rather he was just a cranky asshole.
Then, here we go, fkn Lifeblood! Or at least “Overkill” Mark Haskins. And yeah, Haskins on the mic is fuckin OVERKILL. I kind of like him but his (baby) promo style is like Dusty Rhodes except also a speed metal vocalist. He’s like shouting at the crowd “YOU! YOU! WE ALL HATE BULLY RAY. ALL OF US. STAND UNITED. LIVE FAST DIE HARD!” He didn’t say exactly that but that was kind of the message: he called Bully Ray out and said he wanted to fight. So Bully Ray arrived. He ordered Bobby Cruise and Paul Turner around (I guarantee you Bully Ray had a half-chub doing this, what a loser), then got into the ring and said “Okay I’m here, you gonna fight me?” and then Haskins said “Pwwweeeeeeaaaaase go away Buwweee!!!” No, he didn’t say it like that, but he did actually say “Please please pretty please please retire” which is close enough, and also didn’t involve hitting Bully Ray at all. So Haskins looks like a coward. Great.
Bully goes on to recap how everybody was saying “please don’t go” when he initially tried to retire, then said he lied to everybody and they’re all dumb. Haskins said “okay time to fight”, but then Shane Taylor arrived! Haskins was backing down again (this time he looked practical and not piteous), but then “Hot Dogs” Tracy Williams arrived, a fellow member of LIFE FKN BLOOD BABY, to even up the odds. Williams basically did all of Haskins’s speaking roles from this promo in 3 seconds and then they started a tag match. They should have had Tracy come out first this would have all been taken care of quick.
Bully goaded Haskins as the bell rang, then the Soldiers of Savagery attacked from behind. They beat the hell out of Haskins and Williams for a while, then PJ Black came out and used a chair to even the odds a bit. One of the Soldiers (I believe Jasper Kaun?) grabbed the chair from him and then Bully’s boys beat him down. Shane Taylor directed traffic and they put Black through the table with a top rope triple powerbomb.
Closing: All in all an okay episode of ROH but there’s nothing must-see on it. Shane Taylor being more assertive in leadership is cool and I’m interested to see what happens with his title run. No Taven on the show, no Lethal, no Castle, no Rush, no PCO. As I said earlier, I don’t really get the whole NWA stuff but Aldis is definitely motivated. I’m kind of down on Cobb vs Taven because I have to assume that Cobb is going to lose and ROH isn’t a company I trust with having people lose. They might have something with Jeff Cobb and to me they should just get all behind him. Not a horrible way to spend an hour but not great.
Quick Results:
- NWA National Heavyweight Championship (15 min): Champion Colt Cabana and James Storm fought to a time limit draw
- Silas Young vs The Squid: Silas Young won via submission using an abdominal stretch
- Bully Ray & Shane Taylor vs Tracy Williams & Mark Haskins: Result not announced
Enjoyment Grade: C
